Take Me As I Am

i was having a conversation with a very good friend some weeks ago and we came across the subject of her not being satisfied with the progression of her relationship...or "situationship" that she was in. She said he wasn't moving fast enough for her because he was not doing what she was used to as far as distinguishing stages in building a relationship.

She said that he always wants her around and in the crib but he never pays her any attention. She said that he bought her to All Star Weekend this year and she was the only girl and he paid her little to no mind. All his friends were passing comments like "you bringing sand to the beach now??" To her, these things were NOT what she was/is looking for but to me, he damn near was ready to propose to her.

This is my advice that i gave:
KNOW THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH FOR WHO THEY ARE!!!

Everyone is always on a kick to change someone or make them fit you or something along those lines. Sometimes bloggers, you just have to accept someone for who they are. I'm not saying that progression in a person isn't a quality you should want, because eveyrone at some point in their life should want to progress...i'm just saying that people have certain ways abotu them that are not going to change and you have to take their signs of love for what they are.

I saw him wanting her over there all the time as him saying that he enjoys her company and even though he's still gonna parlay with his boys and shit...he feels comfortable knowing that she is in his presence...it gives him a sense of security in a way. I took her going to all start weekend as the only female his way of saying..."baby this is not shit that i usually do but i'm feeling you so i'm bringing you FREE OF CHARGE OR ANY EXPENSES...to all star weekend with me and MY NIGGAS!!" When his friends passed their comments abotu bringing sand to the beach, that was a dead giveaway that this is not normally shit that he does...and this is a big step for him. Whether he gave all his attention to her or not...in his mind he was thinking he did something so special for her...andin a way...he did.

I have another friend who thinks her girl is falling out of love. They had a falling out before because my friend was easy to wear her heart on her sleeve and give ALL her emotions to her girl. After that incident she because cold and put a huuuge wall up between the two of them in order not to get hurt again. What my friend didn't realize is that she had that wall up way too long and started believing that this was actually how she always acted towards her girlfriend. She wasn't even noticing the little things her girl was doing to get her to tear parts of this wall down. For the first time since they had dated...her girl said "i love you" first. This isnt no big shit to me because it's mutual between me & mine...but to her it should have been historic! They had been dating on and off for about 5 years!! Thats big shit.

When someone steps outside of theirself and the normal shit that they have grown accustomed to doing...as their mate, you HAVE to take notcie to these things or it could damper a part of your relationship that doesnt even need to be brought up.

People let their egos and not wanting to give in to people be their downfall. If you want your relationship to last...KNOW your mate...like REALLY know them for who they are and then figure out with that information if they are giving you the love you want and the way you want it. Never base it off of how you love though...because.....

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

These are just my words of advice. Anyone ever been in a situation where they misjudged something by not knowing their mate well enough? Or have you been the one who was misunderstood or judged incorrectly??