“Peeing After You‘ve Held It Awhile Can Be Better Than Sex!”
See? Admit it. If y’all are like me, if you’ve ever had one of those times where you had to sit still in a business meeting AFTER you’d just drank three cups of coffee or a big can of Diet Mountain Dew or whatever, and you couldn’t get up because the meeting was at its most critical point and you knew if you got up and left that it’d look like you were less than company focused or whatever, and finally after doin’ the two-legged toe tap to the point that your knees ached almost as much as your bladder and you thought you were going to explode internally……then, finally, the meeting ended and you got your chance, so you bolted from your chair straight into the bathroom faster than the Flash and almost cut your fingers from snatching your zipper quickly, and then, finally, you heard fluid hit porcelain….
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, relief! The best!
Now, think about how good that felt. Think about how badly you needed to do that. Think about how you could feel the sweet tingle of relief all the way from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Now, collectively told, what do all those feelings remind you of?
Admit it! Taking a good pee, especially after you’ve held it in longer than it took the Titanic to be built, is a mighty good feeling. A mighty refreshing feeling! A mighty sweet feeling of both pleasure and release that might be akin to one other always interesting feeling. Now, in unison, let’s all guess what that feeling is….could it be…..
Sex?
If y’all guessed that, you’re right, can y’all believe that’s exactly what I was thinking as well? Peeing is a lot like sex, especially after we’ve held it in for awhile. And peeing can be even better that sex as we don’t have to worry about STDs or gettin’ pregnant whilst peeing. Ain’t that pause for reflection? And I’ll even admit this just to advance our article along, in my youth sometimes I would deliberately hold in a nice, mountainous pizz for awhile because I knew how good it would be when I finally released it! And don’t think it’s a coincidence that both peeing and sex occur utilizing the exact same body parts! I think, when all is said and done, that that’s what I like about my “Fred” the most - he performs two very important functions for me, and both those functions are useful and fun.
Now, in conclusion, y’all might be wondering why I’d write an article about peeing after you’ve held it in awhile bein’ better than sex. Well, I did so because I can! It’s the writer’s choice to be creative, right? It’s the writer’s choice to pick whatever hits him at the moment, right? Hey, here on Gather I continually see people writing about politics, their pets, foods they like, pet peeves, religious stuff, complaints, hell people even write about whether or not they like Gather to begin with. So, if all that kinda stuff can be written about, if all that kinda stuff is allowed, then a good old article about the joys of taking a well needed pizz ought to fit in nicely, shouldn’t it? In fact, go ahead and be honest with yourselves. Some of you have laughed at this, haven’t you? A few of the more honest amongst you out there even nodded your heads a time or two, didn’t you? And one or two of you, and yes, you know who you are, said something like “damn straight” and jumped right up out of your chairs and punched the air in triumph, now didn’t you? I figured as much.
Holding in a good pee and releasing it is important. It’s fun. It’s good, sometimes very good. And we should now all hold hands, sing Kumbaya together, and talk about it some more below….
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