Ex In Your Sex

hmmm...my topic today will be...
EX'S AS FRIENDS...

IS IT OK TO KEEP AN EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND AS A FRIEND?? IF SO, SHOULD IT BE RIGHT AFTER THE BREAK UP? OR SHOULD THERE BE TIME IN BETWEEN? IF NOT, WHY NOT??? IS IT EASIER FOR A MALE TO KEEP AN EX AS A FRIEND? OR A FEMALE?

i've wondered about this for a loooong time now. one reason is bc i've tried it and it never works. another is because i thought about all the people in my life, and not one of the people close to me is an ex. sure, i speak to a few on occasion...but they aren't in my close circle of friends or anything of thta nature.

i just dont know if thats because i want it that way...or if thats just how it turned out. i think it was a more subconsious thing for me than anything. i have a habit of still having some form of feelings for my ex's if they hang around...so i'm usually just rude and cut them off or we both agree to go our way (except in this latest situation).

i feel like everyone has been put in that situation of having an ex who they call a friend...but really still have some type of feelings for them or still get jealous when they see they have moved on. nothing to be ashamed of...its natural. people become possessive of the person they invested their time, effort and feelings in and hate seeing them move on bc they feel like they put in too much work to see it used on the next. then there are those people, like myself, who allow themselves to build genuine feelings for someone and then fall in love and just dont have the strength to let go.

if i had to choose, i would say that ex's should only be friends if there werent some major crazy jealousy issues and if it is a mutual agreement between the two.

my answer also depends on how long the couple was together and how serious the relationship actually got. sometimes the seriousness of the relationship can outweigh the time because love has no time limit.

is it possible to become friends again if you were already friends before you hooked up? i can actually play both sides of that question. i think it could ruin a good friendship if the two decided to remain friends because nothing will ever be the same after that. you would have been intimate with the person and have developed a whole entirely new set of feelings for them. then again, it could be a positive and make the friendship stronger because now you know that you have tried to be a couple, it didnt work and now you can help the person understand themselves better, and get a better understanding of yourself. it all depends.

it's easier for men to be friends with females after a break up because if something occurs again (like sex), the male could go through with it and still hold the same feelings of not wanting anything from it anymore. a female will become wrapped up in the sex, thinking its a means of reconciliation (well, some women)...and then get their feelings hurt when they realize that...it was just sex.

its a difficult thing to decipher really. i choose to stay away from most ex's to avoid it becoming a complicated situation where...we've let go...but haven't let go. half of my ex's are in a different state though so that may be what makes it easier. if i was still down south though, i think i would still steer clear of that whole messy "let's be friends" thing.

were Deborah Cox and R.L. on to something?? or is it actually possible to be a true friend to someone you used to date...without your ego or old feelings becoming involved.
let me know what you think.


next blog is about I LOVE YOU VS. I NEED YOU: Which phrase is more powerful???