Fight The Power???

had to go all out and use a different font for this post...even though i cant even tell that it is different
(blogspot ceo..."hey guys, lets give the bloggers 'options' in font...but they will really all be drastically similar...good times!!) smmfh


anywayz...on to the topic at hand.
WHO SHOULD HAVE THE 'POWER' OR 'CONTROL' IN A RELATIONSHIP? THE WOMAN? THE MAN? OR SHOULD IT BE DIVIDED EQUALLY? IF NOT, WHO SHOULD HAVE MORE??

no, this isnt a random question i pulled out the air. i actually have an ex that feels that because he is the man, he should possess all the power in the relationship. it caught me off guard a bit because well, i dont agree. dont get me wrong, i'm a FIRM believer in letting a man be a man and taking charge...i just didnt like the way he "took charge".

there was alot of "shut the fuck up", "you moron/asshole/bitch/derelict...etc etc", and alot of threats made. i'm all for the sexy male anger and 'putting me in my place' but theres a way to go about it.

1. do NOT threaten me physically in ANY way shape or form
2. do NOT call me out my name and expect me to be on my 'yes dear'...'no dear' ish.
3. do NOT raise your voice at me (as soon as someone comes at me in a condescending way...i completely shut down to it...nothing is heard out of their mouth.


now, it would be different if i HADN'T told him that i didnt like these things being done...but i did. i sat and said those exact same things out my mouth. i CANNOT be spoken to like a child/animal and you actually think i'm gonna sit there and.....listen???????

to me...
being a man and possessing that natural authority is what attracts me and allows me to step down or back off from an issue. i dont feel its degrading to a woman to let a man take control. nor do i feel that its necessary to be equals 24/7...sometimes the male should have control, sometimes the female.

i have a decent understanding of the male pride...i just feel like somewhere lost in that pride...is the idea that woman dont have any pride.

ATTENTION ATTENTION PLEASE...WOMEN DO HAVE PRIDE AND DESERVE RESPECT. WE JUST KNOW WHEN TO PUT IT TO THE SIDE AND WHEN TO BRING IT TO THE FOREFRONT.

if a man could be in the middle of an arguement...stop the whole thing...tell me what its gonna be and what will happen from that point on...and does it with authority but not disrespect...with passion but not hatred...with understanding but not an overbearing nature...you know what i'm gonna do when he's done...

imma shut the fuck up if i'm wrong.

i cant do the name calling and threats though...or cockiness. it just turns me off to even want to back down on my side. i feel like my womanhood is being challeneged...like im expected to respond as if i'm a pet. that's not how it works in these parts...so idk.

mind you, i have an ENORMOUS amount of pride myself. sometimes i DONT know when to give in but i'll be damned if i'm not trying to figure this whole male species out. i don't think males are all the same...not even any two males for that matter. EVERYONE has to be dealt with differently...

my issue is...if i'm making strides and learning how to cater specifically to someone's personality...why cant it be done for me?? if someone knows i'm a little spoiled and like attention...whats wrong with giving that to me?

i'm single now...pretty much by choice. an entire relationship ruined because of two peoples pride. its all so crazy to me. i dont knock anything anymore though because everything happens for a reason. i get confused every so often with the switching of words and actions...but i'm to the point where i no longer want to understand.

a situation reached a point it NEVER should have and through it i came to the realization that...i deserve respect...and a little control in my own relationship.

i want male opinions...is it just that yall dont feel females will do things correctly if they have the power? do you even care if the woman controls the relationship? does it make you feel like less of a man? or do you actually like when it happens? is there a certain way a woman could go about gaining the power that wouldnt alarm you as much? or make you feel like less of a man?

and ladies (no i'm NOT biased)
why do we feel the need to control EVERYTHING? do you care to even have control in the relationship? how do you feel when it comes to the point where a man is taking the control? what are some ways that a guy has tried to gain control that attracted you? what are some that turned you off?


this topic baffles me...for lack of a better word.
any help here people??
(& if your relationship is same sex...just answer the questions related to you)