Military Couples & Cybersex
A few weeks ago, I hosted a party on my publisher’s yahoo loop. On it, I had one of the gals interview my husband about military couples and cybersex. Now, as a military wife whose husband has been deployed, I have to say, times can get pretty lean, sexually speaking.
Thank God for the internet. Years ago, we didn’t have that luxury. Mail got crossed and a letter you’d written just a few days ago would be delivered the next week, yet one you wrote a few weeks ago, could be delivered three weeks after the second. This is particularly amusing (that’s the only word I can use in good company) when you are sending updates of family life or whatever. However, another difficulty is trying to be sexy for your man thousands of miles away.
For those of us in that situation, the internet in all its corrupted glory, has been a God-send. I mean, not only can you send emails, but on occasion, you can actually instant message each other. And, not to go into any detail, but those dang cameras can get pretty hot—if you’ve got one. Better than any porn I know for sure. Beyond all that, I’d hate to think that some military person is monitoring this stuff, ‘cause like my husband mentioned, all soldiers do this. They have to in order to stay sane. Well, and to prevent a case of blue balls. (Sorry, there’s no better way to put this.)
What’s funny, though, is some of the stories my husband has told, and some of the difficulties. Guys try to find a private place (as the at-home spouse, it’s a little easier for me and others), but that’s not often possible. Apparently the guys try to give each other as much privacy as they can, but when the need arises, they go for it. Thing is, some forget others can hear them as they often have headphones on and when they get in that erogenous zone, well, I’ll let your imagination take over here. (If you’re wondering, yes, my hubby was careful but a lot of the guys aren’t. And let’s face it, a lot of them are young and either aren’t thinking about it or are more like my husband and don’t give a you-know-what at the time. They are talking/interacting with their significant other, and that’s what’s important to them. It what reminds them of where they are and what they’re doing and why. And quite frankly, it talks to both partners of the sacrifices they make. And know that when a soldier goes to war, their family does sacrifice, too. It’s hard. And one of the hard parts is being a temporary single person. But the internet helps with that in a big way.)
Now, being a writer, it can be doubly interesting. You see, my husband also has other benefits. When he’s gone, I write a LOT of sex scenes. It’s my outlet for the lack of my husband being here. And guess who my first line editor is for these? You got it. It’s my husband. He loves reading this stuff when he’s gone (when he has the time). And I always sent them to him. The funniest part is he takes on the persona of my hero and his responses can be hilarious because he makes believe I’m the heroine. His latest is Rurik, my alien space hero—sexy, strong, and definitely virile. The one before that was Jake Colder, small town sheriff and ex-special forces. So you see, in this, we can still have fun together and enjoy each others company—even though we’re so physically far apart. (And I bet you didn’t realize the other fringe benefits the average romance novel had!)
So there you have it. Cyberspace and marital bliss.
Thank God.
Lise Fuller (also writing as Elle Amour)
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