This Blog Contains Brief Nudity

So, I'm sitting at my desk the other day when Woody approaches me, "Elevator" script in hand. He asks me to read it and see if I'd be comfortable doing it. I thought maybe my character had a lot of lines or something, and Woody was asking me if I'd be able to do it.

Well, yes, my character in this particular script does have a lot of lines (which, by "Elevator" standards is, like, four), but that wasn't what Woody was referring to. The opening line of the script read:

"PAUL is in the elevator, NAKED as the day he was born."

Now, I make it a point in my life to be naked as little as possible. Anybody who's seen me naked can relate. But, somehow, I convinced myself that my being ass naked was for the good of the show. Never one to turn away when duty calls, I read the rest of the script, accepted the role of "Paul the Naked Guy", and began bracing myself for the cruel anonymous YouTube comments about my body.

Here's how "Elevator" shoots go. We film a batch, (about ten, give or take), usually on a Friday. We'll bring in whoever the script calls for that isn't around the office (Harold the Janitor or HR Judy, or whatever special guest we may want, etc.), and we'll just shoot one after the other. We'll take a minimum of 4 or 5 takes of each episode, unless one is so spot on that we feel comfortable with it; in that case, we'll film one more just to "be safe", and we move on. When it comes time to film an episode that you're not in, you typically go grab a snack or a water and just hang out until you get called to set. Maybe one or two people stick around to watch the shoot. However, when it was my turn to be naked, the house was packed. Seriously. Standing room only. There were food vendors in the crowd. I saw people doing "The Wave". I can't explain this phenomenon other than that people purely enjoy witnessing me being uncomfortable. I don't really know why. Hopefully this watchability translates well on screen, which is more than I can hope for my silver dollar sized nipples.

I can't tell you what happens in this particular episode (which will be uploaded this week)-- you'll have to watch for yourself. And when it comes time to comment... please be gentle.

Also, this post has a lot of parentheses.