IF I HAVE A CABOODLE THEN WHERE'S MY KIT
By: Angelica Hart and Zi
Angelica likes how words fill her mouth, the roll of them on her tongue, and sometimes, she just thinks cause it sounds right, it fits and it would take a hypnotist to convince her differently, even at that she might not concede. This leads me to the point, we wordsmith often within our stories, working under the philosophy that if the new word aptly and efficiently communicates the point we intended then it is the perfect word to use. The process makes for moments that are enjoyable. We are word lovers and as amateur lexicographers we play with meaning and nuance of words constantly. To roll out an example, we have used words like lamestorming, typonesse, well embrowed, and don't stopportunities. Here is a sample of how this point plays:
(While Zi was writing this piece Angelica entered the office, craned her neck to see the screen... He toggled to Minesweeper knowing this would torment her)
A: Are you writing about me? (She bounces a soccer ball off the back of his orange rocking chair and catches it)
Z: Yes. (Notices the soccer ball) You been balling? (One corner of his mouth and one eyebrow rises in unison considering innuendo)
A: Practicing headers with Mo. (She points to the yellow Lab who is asleep and snoring) Watch. (She bounces the ball off of the head of the un-phased cur and catches it) See, he's good. Taught him. (Her pride evident)
Z: Finnne... but I taught him to play dead.
A: Watcha writing about me? (She toggles back to Word and tries to position herself to see the screen)
Z: Nudgy are we?
A: Was inoculated at age four for nudgy-streptococcus. (She spins the ball on her finger as if disinterested even as she looks past the ball and speed-reads)
Z: Stripped a what?
A: Don't change the subject. Whatja write?
Z: Insecure? Huh?
A: Does a bear use a toilet in the woods?
Z: Ahhh, classic avoidance... Yes... I see the carnivorous sensibility eating virus of apprehension. (He sniggers at his clever word usage) Why, yes, I'm writing about you.
A: If it's good continue, if not continue... I know how to edit. So what is it?
Z: It's about the caboodle.
A: Ah, you read my latest iteration of Pawn Poke'er. It was the perfect word for the sentence. (Her voice had a tad of smugness to it as she rolled the ball into the corner)
Z: Angelica… it didn’t make sense. There is no such thing as a caboodle. You need to delete it.
A: Yes there is. Googled it. It means everything. Example… (Writes in the air with her finger.) Let’s take the whole caboodle with us. It is U.S. slang. (She does the James Cagney soft shoe ta-da step from Yankee Doodle Dandy)
Z: (Gives that lifted eyebrow that questions sanity) I know that... but...
A: Then I’ve made my point, perfect for the sentence. (She interrupts with the ease of a fork through milk toast)
Z: No… No… No…
A: Yes… Yes… Yes…. (She loves the fencing and would have retorted, "Take that picket... and that stockade!" but Zi's parry silences her)
Z: You used it wrongly, didn’t you?
A: (Grins) Nope... Nope... Nope!
Z: (Pulls up the word document, points indicating the sentence and shakes his head) There’s no kit.
A: Sooo...
Z: I understand kit. There's a first aid kit. You need kit in it. You need kit to have it. There's a kit car. You need kit to make it work otherwise it makes no sense. Remember our press kit? Kit... Kat? A beaver's baby is a kit. Your caboodle needs a kit. Hook the kit up with the caboodle. (His chin juts out in a decisive manner as if the Mighty Oz was saying... I have spoken) You simply can’t use the caboodle without the kit.
A: Who died and made you the kit police?
Z: Ha ha. Have you heard about the man with five penises?
A: What!!?
Z: His underwear fits him like a glove. (Using his best Ace Ventura voice)
A: Ah, glove... You're throwing down the gauntlet. I shall pick it up, slap you on each cheek with these two words... No kit!
Z: (Pulls his official Star Wars lightsaber off the shelf, makes a vvvvvvvv sound as if it's lit, couldn't be, he hadn't replaced the batteries... He takes a combative stance) You need the kit. Kit... Kit... Kit... 'carson it is required to express the point.
A: (Looks at him and shakes her head) You are a strange man.
Z: I'm rubber and you're glue... whatever you say... bounces off me... and sticks to you. (He had the naa-naa look which he had perfected)
A: I'll prove my point. Google it.
Z: (After a few minutes doing the research he turns and reiterates) Just as I said. Nice word usage. Kudos.
Just goes to show you being passionate about a word is like a spider’s web, it makes for a sticky situation. What do you think, can caboodle be used without the word kit? Should caboodle be used at all in a serious sentence? Should Zi just let Angelica always have her way? Angelica thinks so, don’t you?
Z: Excuse me… you need to delete those last two questions.
A: Here we go again. (She grabs the soccer ball and tosses it at him... he catches it... she runs... he chases... the dogs follow... barking... lunging... flapping tongue... and so the whole kit and caboodle of them raced from room to room screaming and barking)
We'd love to hear from anyone interested in what we do. Anyone who emails us at angelicahartandzi@yahoo.com and leaves an s-mail address, we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.
Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS
SNAKE DANCE
CHASING GRAVITAS ~ July 2010
Champagne Books
angelicahartandzi.com
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