HE ARRIVED
By: Angelica Hart and Zi
Angelica Hart and Zi are published by Champagne Books.
A uniqueness of being a mixed gender writing team is that we can draw upon things that are sometimes very specific to our gender. The following excerpt of a larger piece highlights the thinking of two different minds following a similar plot path. When we finished we found it was quite funny, and enjoyed the development of it, and actually believed we might not have been able to do it individually.
"Are you, you?" asked a tallish slender man.
"Yenta sent you?"
"Aye."
"Sit."
The two were silent.
She thought, the fairyland body was composed of 85% water, and he was a tall drink of manness and I am thirsty.
She said, "Do you drink?
"Nay!"
He thought, dag she sure was a looker, could I say now, that I have met you I am glad I am not blind.
He said, "You look well."
"I am."
The two were silent.
She thought, could I risk being coy. Might I say, do you believe in the hereafter and well, I bet you have guessed what I am here after. She giggled at her thought.
She said, "Been here before?"
"Nay! You?"
"Nay!"
He thought, what do I say? Humor...humor! Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the two crown?
He said, "Drink?
"Nay!"
The two were silent.
She thought, I need some eclectic charm. I could try, I have some skittles in my mouth, would you like to taste the rainbow. Could I be so bold?
She said, "Ever seen a rainbow?"
"Aye! You?"
"Aye."
He thought, I need to act debonair. Might I take her hand and look her in the eyes.
He said, "Are they your original hands?" He noticed her manicure.
The two were silent.
She thought, I want to let him know I like him. I approve of Yenta's choice. I could just quip, You'll do!
She said, "Eat?"
"Aye! You?"
"Aye!"
He thought, I would look confident if I shot at her, You'll do!
He said, "Eat daily?" Knew immediately that was a bad query.
"Aye!"
The two were silent.
She thought, I'll ask him if he believed in love at first sight or did he want me to get up and return?
She said, "Their fruit is fresh here."
"I'm not a big fruit eater."
"Me either."
He thought, should I create some interest, maybe I should say, I might not look like Fred Flintstone, but I sure could make your bed rock.
He said, "Do you rock climb?"
"Nay! You?"
"Nay!"
The two were silent.
She thought, boy, is that a nice shirt he is wearing I wonder if I could talk him out of it.
She said, "Warm tonight?"
"It is this time of the year."
"Indeed."
He thought, she actually looked chilly and she had some obvious nipus erecti. I wonder if I could feign being blind and read her blouse in braille.
He said, "Read?"
"Nay...do menus count?"
"They do."
"Then...aye!"
The two were silent.
She thought, I think I could fall madly in bed with him."
She said, "I text message."
"So do I."
"Nice!"
He thought, if I told her she had a beautiful body would she hold it against me?
He said, "I email, too."
"Me too!"
The two were silent.
She thought, I should be playful, say something like I am hot, mind if I take my panties off? I would be hoping for him to respond, Drop 'em!
She said, "It is suppose to get cooler tomorrow."
"That would be nice."
"It would."
He thought, I should say something edgy like, would you mind if I take my pants off? She did mention the heat. I might. I'll smile. Act like a rouge.
He said, "I am glad it is not going to rain.
"Me too."
The two were silent.
She thought, I know what would look great on him...me!"
She said, "I made my own dress."
"It is attractive."
"Thank you!"
He thought, being a bit risqué, he considered that the dress would look great on the floor next to his bed.
He said, "I raise algae."
"That is nice."
"I believe it could be a bio-fuel."
The two were silent.
She thought, if i were you I'd have sex with me. She was self-assured. Wanted to wink.
She said, "Can you make money in algae?"
"Not yet."
"Oh!"
He thought, there are like 200 bones in the human body...I wonder is she wants another.
He said, "I can bone a fish."
"That is a talent...most can't." She wanted to say, do you buy it dinner first?
The two were silent.
She thought, I could quip, want to play demolition expert...you lay there and I'll blow the hell out of you?
She said, "My Uncle fishes."
"Where?"
"Don't know."
He thought, would I impress her if I said, what has one hundred and forty teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk. She's ask what and I'd proudly retort...my zipper.
He said, "I have an Uncle."
"So do I."
"I know. He fishes."
"He does."
The two were silent.
She thought, I heard that sex is a killer...want to die? I could show my humor.
She said, "My fishing uncle died."
"Sorry. Recently?"
"Four years ago."
He thought, if I asked her if I flipped a coin what would be my chances of getting head?
He said, "I once went to funeral."
"Me, too."
The two were silent.
She thought, your face or mine.
She said, "I don't have pets." She wanted to add that she gives puppies on a first date.
He thought, my face is leaving in seventeen minutes...be on it.
He said, "My Uncle has a cat."
The two were silent.
She thought, nice shoes.
She said, "Want to screw?!" This was an oops moment, she meant to think this.
He thought, what did she ask?
He said, "Are you free this evening or will it cost me?"
The two were silent.
She thought, I got him.
She said, "I would like to blow your brain out."
He thought, cool.
He said, "Do you spit or swallow?"
The two were silent.
She thought, where.
She said, "Spit or swallow what?"
He thought, where.
He said, "Maybe we are moving too fast."
The two were silent.
She thought, he hates me.
She said, "I think we should take it slow."
He thought, she hates me.
He said, "Maybe we will try this again...I'll call you." He left.
We'd love to hear from anyone interested in what we do. Anyone who writes us at angelicahartandzi@yahoo.com and leaves an s-mail address, we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.
Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS
SNAKE DANCE
CHASING...CHASING...CHASING... ~ July 2010
angelicahartandzi@yahoo.com
angelicahartandzi.com
KILLER DOLLS and SNAKE DANCE can be purchased at
Champagne Books
http://www.champagnebooks.com/
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