ESPN CFB Live's Preseason Top 25: Poking Fun At A Way Too Early List

Late last week E$PN released it's pre-season Top 25 for the 2011 college football season. It didn't seem fair to mock it then, but now that I've had some time to think it over, I am willing to mock it now. Try and take this "analysis" for what it's worth, huh? I mean after all, there's no way those guys at E$PN actually expected anyone to take them seriously anyhow, right?

1. Oklahoma: Okay, since they bring back so many guys and are playing in a league where it's basically them or Texas, I can see them getting the nod here. On the other hand, despite the message the annual spring game may have sent, the Sooners will have a time replacing the departed DeMarco Murray.

2. Alabama: Seriously? Didn't they lose a gang of people? I know the Tide are always supposed to Roll but, damn, can we keep it real? Trent Richardson is a stud, but he's never been that stud minus Mark Ingram. Julio Jones was a presence, when healthy, is there some other guy ready to step into that big-bodied role? Not to mention you no longer have a seasoned quarterback—ummm, to put them at No. 2 seems like too much.

3. Oregon: They should be No. 2...hell, they should be No. 1.

4. LSU: Is Jordan Jefferson still their best quarterback? I don't care how good their defense was last season—and keep in mind that was WITH Patrick Peterson—if Jefferson doesn't stop decapitating their offense, they won't get very far.

5. Boise State: I get it, until they get their backsides handed to them by a BCS team, everyone loves the Broncos. Fair enough.

6. Florida State: I sure hope they don't start getting the big head. This seems a bit high for a team that no longer has an experienced quarterback.

7. Stanford: If Jim Harbaugh was still the head coach, they would be a lot higher than this in my opinion.

8. South Carolina: It's allllllll about Marcus Lattimore. Where his legs go, so goes the South Carolina offense. Now, if they could just figure out what to do at quarterback.

9. Oklahoma State: That's right, there is another team in Oklahoma. How old is Brandon Weeden now? I swear that kid should be retired.

10. Ohio State: Hahahahahahahahahaha....talk to me when they aren't under threat of probation. That team is a hot mess.

11. Texas A&M: For real, they're this good?

12. Arkansas: It's nice they feel this way about the Hogs...too bad the rest of the SEC doesn't.

13. Nebraska: As long as Pelini isn't making his quarterback cry like a baby, they might do alright in the Big Ten this season.

14. Wisconsin: Call me when they start running the score up on GOOD teams. That's when I'll start taking them more seriously.

15. TCU: No Andy Dalton? No way.

16. Michigan State: I don't see lightning striking twice here.

17. Notre Dame: Notre who?

18. Florida: Blah. Blah. Blah. *in mocking voice* "they have Will Muschamp, they've got Charlie Weis, they're gonna shock the world with their new pro-style offense"...yeah, yeah, yeah.

19. Virginia Tech: Does the Beamer train ever not get the E$PN love?

20. Texas: So, you lose a lot of people on your coveted staff and STILL manage to be a Top 25 team? Oh, and about that losing (non-bowl qualifying) season you just finished, are you really THAT much better then 2010?

21. Mississippi State: Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice....

22. Auburn: Not even Nick Saban is convinced you can do it all again.

23. Missouri: Isn't your best player in the NFL Draft already?

24. West Virginia: You only have Pitt to worry about, you should be good every year.

25. Arizona State: As soon as your offense can consistently match up with your defense, then you just might be some kind of special.