Second Opinion - Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, 2011.



Directed by Rob Marshall.

Starring Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Ian McShane, Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally, Richard Griffiths, Stephen Graham, Judi Dench, Greg Ellis, Damian O’Hare, Gemma Ward, Roger Allam and Keith Richards.





SYNOPSIS:



Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with Black Beard (Ian McShane) and his enigmatic daughter Angelica (Penelope Cruz) on a quest to find the Fountain of Youth.





Part four and counting, Walt Disney Pictures continues its one time trilogy into a, for now, quartet of a film franchise. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides returns to the screen with basically some of its original, cheery-eyed cast intact. Usuals and choice favorites, Orland Bloom & Keira Knightley, chose not to reprise their roles. But everyone’s lovable and normally deceitful captain sailed his way back onto the theater. Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow is with new direction this time. Rob Marshall picks up directing duties from the franchises normal head, Gore Verbinksi.



When we last found Captain Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he had set sail in a tiny dinghy in the direction of the Fountain of Youth. By now, four years later, you would think that maybe he has found it. You would be incorrect because movie time has never quite equaled real-life time. Not only has he not yet found these legendary waters but we find his first mate, Mr. Gibbs (Kevin McNally), on trial with the court believing that he is in fact Sparrow. After exchanging some dazzling pleasantries with the King of England’s superior guards, with them in pursuit of him, Sparrow crosses paths with someone from his past. Enter the still very beautiful Penelope Cruz as Angelica, yet another female that the womanizing Sparrow has “loved and left”.



After having some very choice words for him, Angelica sort of recruits Jack for her ship to help her crew and captain search for the Fountain so that they may claim it as their own. Her captain proves to be no ordinary pirate as Jack discovers that the ship he has been attached to is headed by none other than the infamous evil pirate Black Beard (Ian McShane). They then all find themselves in a race against the English as well as the Spanish, who were the first ones to learn of the whereabouts of the Fountain, to delight in the wonders that the mystical waters from the Fountain will bring them.



Writing duo, Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio, also make a return to pen the screenplay for this latest chapter as they did the first three. Disney has got a real franchise here on their hands and Elliot and Rossio among others get to reap the benefits. I think it’s safe to say that it is time for me to sit down and write out some kind of a screenplay. Before going to see this film, I felt that the absence of Bloom and Knightley’s characters would yield a hole in the story and provide a lack of screen presence. I find my theory to be both right and wrong after seeing it.



The movie and story packs enough substance to carry it all the way through without losing the audience’s attention. But at times, the lack of their appearances might be missed. The other characters did receive plenty of time on screen due to this. Some points felt like it was too much but it did a good job of turning your attention to some other aspect within the plot as not to over saturate the film with just one dimension.



As usual, the action and stunt sequences were enjoyable. Packed with quick movements, sword fights, plenty of banter and that famous Pirates score that I enjoy so much. Depp did pull plenty of action duty where it would have normally gone to Orlando Bloom attempting to fight his way out of a jam wielding his sword. Even Cruz had her stunt and sword play moments. I couldn’t really complain about the film in that department. Can’t complain about any of the films in that department now that I think about it. They’ve done a pretty good job being consistent in that aspect.



Black Beard played the film’s main antagonist, showing no mercy where normal men would. With his steady hand and control of his ship, Queen Anne’s Revenge, you can tell that he is definitely one pirate that you do not want to mess with. This Pirates was different in the fact that it was filmed primarily in Hawaiian waters as opposed to the usual Caribbean where the previous three were shot. Still, the tropical back drop and clear waters served their purpose providing an ideal environment for pirating all the same.



I did not see this one in 3D, it being the first Pirates film that I’ve actually seen in theaters, but still enjoyed it nonetheless. It is reported that there is a fifth one which already has a script finished in the works. This last one, as the others have, definitely left a medium sized window open for another sequel. I give Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides “4 zombie-fied pirates & killer mermaids out of 5”



“I wish to agree with the missionary’s position”

Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler



Movie Review Archive

Second Opinion - Thor (2011)

Thor, 2011.



Directed by Kenneth Branagh.

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Stellan Skarsgård, Colm Feore, Ray Stevenson, Idris Elba, Kat Dennings, Rene Russo, Anthony Hopkins, Jaimie Alexander, Joshua Dallas, Tadanobu Asano, Clark Gregg, Jeremy Renner and Samuel L. Jackson.



SYNOPSIS:



Cast out of Asgard by his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) arrives on Earth and must defend humanity from the threat of his power hungry brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston).





Marvel movie number whatever it is right now is the second big film of the summer. I only say that because Fast Five has proved itself to be the first. Even though it is still officially Spring, the mega-blockbusters are beginning to roll themselves into theaters. Hopefully so that many moviegoers will roll green-colored- paper out of their wallets and roll their butts into the seats. Thor is one of many links on the path towards Marvel’s eventual Avengers destination. The next link on this road will be Captain America: The First Avenger, which just might turn out to better than this step.



Chris Hemsworth takes on the role of the God of Thunder and the heir to Odin’s, the king of Asgard, (Anthony Hopkins) throne. From the beginning of the film, the audience can sense the jealousy that is pulsating from Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thor’s younger brother. When the day finally arrives for him to realize his destiny as King, the eldest prince proves that he truly isn’t ready. He carries himself with a brash and recklessness of a warrior but not a leader. After there is a breach in security by the Frost Giants, enemies to Odin and the people of Asgard, Thor instantly wishes to declare war upon them. Not even the strict forbiddance of this by his father deters the eventual hero from paying the race of giants a visit.



Thor enlists the help of his closest friends and allies to join him on the journey and without surprise nearly gets them killed. For this defiance, King Odin banishes his son, along with his legendary hammer, to the realm of none other than good ‘ol Earth. Here he meets, more like is nearly critically injured by her car, a mortal named Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). Is it me or has she been in absolutely every movie this year? After he discovers that his hammer has been confiscated by S.H.E.I.L.D., he sets out to retrieve it. Back home, after King Odin has fallen ill, Loki replaces him as king and attempts to instill his own devious plans. He wants to rule over Asgard and make sure that his brother remains banished.



Before getting into what I disliked about the film, I’ll talk about what I enjoyed. The first half hour takes place in the other realm, within Asgard. There’s an action scene that pits Thor and his squad of warriors against the Frost Giants, most of whom are CGI-creations. The special effects that were used to make this scene were great. Crisp filming and detailed character depictions made for a very engaging fight scene. When it finally shifted back to puny Earth, I thought to myself how the movie could have possibly taken place in its entirety in Asgard and been great. But that wouldn’t exactly follow the story of Thor and set things up for The Avengers, would it?



I kind of hate to say it but after that, it kind of slid downhill for me. There were many portions that progressed the movie rather slowly, including the mini-romance between our hero and Natalie Portman. Someone should tell Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher that their sex buddy is getting wooed by a God. Until he realizes that his home world is in jeopardy, Thor is somewhat of a jerk. Demanding things and talking down to everyone, you can tell why his father banished him. But watching him trying to interact with mere humans does provide some humor. Of course there’s the shirtless shot for the ladies and the glimpse of a future Marvel hero who is currently working for S.H.I.E.L.D for the comic fans.



Superhero flicks are never known for their acting quality so I wasn’t extremely surprised by the lack of superb attempts in this film. Even Oscar-winner Hopkins and veteran Rene Russo who played Thor’s mother couldn’t save the movie from that. Also, there wasn’t much action. It was pretty much whatever you saw in the trailers plus the “epic” end-fight which all hero movies have that contained all of the action scenes. Although Loki is helmed as Thor’s main antagonist throughout the comics and the film, I sort of saw where his character was coming from. He was possibly the wisest one after his father but no one wanted to take him seriously. I think that would push anyone to turn evil, don’t you? That’s how major corporations come tumbling down and tragic school shootings come about.



Overall, I think Thor would be a good, fun movie to take the kids to see. I’m not quite sure if die-hard comic fans would agree but how many times has Hollywood gotten these kinds of adaptations correct. Even with them being produced by Marvel Studios themselves. The God of Thunder may have possibly proved to be the God of a mild but relaxing rainstorm. I personally would claim X2: X-Men United, Spider-Man 2, and Iron Man as the best that Marvel has put out thus far. I give Thor “3.5 after-the-credit-waits only to be disappointed out of 5”.



“Do you want me to take him down or would you rather send in more guys for him to beat up?”

Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler



Movie Review Archive

DVD Review - Unthinkable (2010)

Unthinkable, 2010.

Directed by Gregor Jordan.
Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Sheen, Brandon Routh, Carrie-Anne Moss, Stephen Root, Gil Bellows, Martin Donovan, Yara Shahidi, Sasha Roiz and Vincent Laresca.


SYNOPSIS:

A black-ops interrogator and an FBI agent have just two days to press a terror suspect into revealing the location of three nuclear bombs primed to detonate in the US.


There are terrorist movies and then there are TERRORIST movies. Unthinkable, in my opinion, falls into the latter. We’ve all seen the films that have the Islamic-motivated individuals who have done something extreme to prove either a political or personal point at the expense of others. They are fearless, clever and more than willing to die for their country and beliefs. This thriller has all of this but it takes it to another level.

Steven Arthur Younger (Michael Sheen) or Yusuf Atta Mohammed, which he prefers to be referred as is an American man who has made the conversion to Islam. He has placed three bombs in three American cities, all set to explode on the same day at the same time. Yes, and all of them are of the nuclear nature. He purposely allows himself to be captured by the U.S. government and is then subjected to special forms of “interrogation” by a man called “H” (Samuel L. Jackson). H has been specially hired by the government for his unique skills to deal with these specific kinds of situations. In addition, an FBI Special Agent, Helen Brody (Carrie-Anne Moss) is requested by H to assist him in extracting the unknown locations of the nuclear bombs from Younger.

Immediately upon meeting him, Younger is shown, or better yet feels, what exactly H does. To say the least, Brody is completely against H’s tactics and tries to convince him to stop. Yeah, like that was really going to happen. Throughout the film, many ideas and theories are thrown around by those conducting the investigation as to whether Younger’s threats are even legit. But the “Islamic-motivated” man assures them that he will not disclose any information until his demands are met. Demands that consist of Muslim countries being left alone and U.S. troops being withdrawn from Islamic areas. By stating these requests, he makes everyone aware that he not only wants justice for the horrors that have been done to his Muslim brothers and sisters but also peace and rest for his American people. The events that take place during the rest of the film, including some very unorthodox techniques of trying to get him to talk, makes for a whirlwind of a movie and definitely edge of your seat material.

The story was written by Oren Moverman and Peter Woodward is grossly engaging and I do mean grossly. Although some scenes are not for the faint of heart, director Gregor Jordan does a good job of not making it all about the gore. The interaction between the characters and back and forth of the plotline keeps the audience guessing without managing to lose any eyeballs watching the screen. It doesn’t take very long to get off the ground, delivering an open scene of Younger making his initial video demands. After that, it’s off to the races as we are introduced to Special Agent Brody and H as they are made aware of the possible consequences at hand.

Moss’ FBI character we can tell is somewhat of a light hard-ass, if that makes any sense. She is all about business and achieving results with very limited time for fun and games. But at the same time when compared to Jackson’s H, she is probably more human than we ever guessed. As with many of his roles, Samuel L. Jackson’s character is cool and extremely confident. He acknowledges what needs to be done and never hesitates at his tasks at hand. You like him but at other times you want to label him as a real a******.

I wanted to find something wrong with this movie. Only because I don’t normally hand out perfect scores but I couldn’t. Some may feel that it is simply a pile of processed and rehashed political/terrorism mumbo jumbo while trying to entertain its audience. But I feel that it dives very deep into the harsh reality of what is going on in the world today; bottom line is that there’s a war going on. We don’t know if it will ever stop but we do know that there are people out there who will go the ever seeing distance to make sure they feel retribution for evils done to them and their families. Sheen’s terrific performance as our antagonist provides Hollywood-style proof of this.

I’m sorry I slept on this direct-to-DVD gem so that’s why I’m suggesting it to well, everyone. I give Unthinkable “5 reasons why you can’t prosecute someone without fingernails out of 5”.

“Every man, no matter how strong he is, lies to himself about something”

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Movie Review Archive

Special Features - Dexter: Tonight's the Night

Sean Guard analyses the hit US TV drama Dexter...

A woman is walking out of her usual coffee spot while taking a small sip of a vanilla latte that she has just purchased. She climbs into her car and drives not very far to her empty apartment. She notices a couple holding hands walking along the sidewalk that leads past her building and pauses in the night air to appreciate this moment that she yearns she had in her life. What she doesn’t notice is the man that has stepped out of his car parked in the shadows who has followed her from the coffee shop. He waits impatiently beside his vehicle until she has finished admiring the couple to begin the climb of stairs to her apartment. His palms begin to sweat with anticipation as devious thoughts tip-toe through his demented mind.

He checks to make sure that the coast is clear and takes one step in the direction of her building. His second step is interrupted by a sudden sharp pain in his neck. Before he is able to formulate even a guess on what might have caused it, he begins to fall unconsciously to the ground. But before he hits the hard pavement, he’s carefully and swiftly caught by another unknown gentleman of the night. What seems like mere minutes later, the first man awakens to find himself strapped to a table restrained by layer upon layer of plastic. He attempts to move but soon discovers that it is useless, the plastic binding him down has been tightly fastened.

All of a sudden, an unfamiliar voice speaks from a dark corner. Our tied-up victim begins to breathe heavily and asks where he is. Just then a light flicks on and he is able to see several pictures of beautiful females that he has preyed on before. If he wasn’t stopped earlier that night, the woman sipping her coffee and watching the couple would have been among them. The mystery voice comes into the light, his red hair seeming to be on fire. He stands by our victims’ head and makes a small cut into his cheek before collecting the blood that drips out and placing it on a glass slide; a trophy. Our victim screams in pain still asking demanding to know what is going on. Suddenly the questions stop as a knife is plunged into his chest. Soon thereafter all is quiet and the red-haired man standing over him releases a sigh of much needed satisfaction.

This lovely night out, or in, happens to be the basic and on-going premise of Showtime’s hit show, Dexter. Simply labeling it as a hit might be somewhat of an understatement. It is freaking awesome. Based on a series of crime novels written by author Jeff Lindsay, Dexter’s first season began in October of 2006 with the fifth and most recent season ending this past fall.

Dexter, if you haven’t figured out by my mood-setting intro, is a crime/serial drama mixed with suspense, baked in mystery and topped off with a vigilante twist. Basically it’s about a serial killer who kills serial killers. Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) is a forensic blood spatter analyst. Think CSI:anything (there are so many nowadays) combined with buckets of blood, in-depth psychological narration, some nudity and a pinch of mild, dark humor.

He works for the Miami-Dade County Police department in the homicide unit. Within his division are other officers/characters whose lives the show takes time to dive into including his ambitious yet emotional foul-mouthed sister, Deborah Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter). Deborah’s father, Harry (James Remar) adopted Dexter as a young child and made him a part of their family. As of the beginning of the show, both of their parents are deceased but the audience is shown several flashbacks helping to explain the “Dark Passenger” origins of Dexter. Our anti-hero is also visited by many visions of his father, especially while he is planning and stalking his next bad guy victim.

Some series regulars are that of Rita (Julie Benz), Dexter’s timid and damaged girlfriend who is trying to recover from her own troubled past during the first season. Lt. Maria Laguerta (Lauren Velez) is the head of the homicide division and a hero in the Cuban community of Miami. Det. Angel Batista (David Zayas), Sgt. James Doakes (Erik King), who has a serious issue and suspicion of Dexter, and fellow-forensic analyst Vince Masuka (C.S. Lee) round out recurring characters on the show who also work with Dexter trying to catch the criminals of Miami. Det. Joseph Quinn (Desmond Harrington) is introduced later on in the series.

Of course we have plenty of guest stars; Keith Carradine as FBI Special Agent Frank Lundy, John Lithgow as the “Trinity Killer”, Jimmy Smits as ADA Miguel Prado and Julia Stiles as Lumen Pierce, a victim of one of the men Dexter kills during the fifth season. Even Malcolm Jamal Warner plays a lawyer assisting Rita in a family court case concerning her two children.

Episodes of the series have been written and directed by a team of different people. James Manos Jr., who developed the series, is among the main writers as well as Jeff Lindsay of course who penned the novels. Keith Gordon and Marcos Siega have directed the majority of the episodes. Daniel Cerone, Clyde Phillips and Melissa Rosenberg were the main executive producers, all of whom have by now departed the production altogether. Chip Johanssen, who co-executive produced 24, took over for Phillips and Michael C. Hall is pulling double duty by also executive producing as well as bringing the very popular lead character to life.

I first stumbled onto Dexter around 2008 but didn’t really give it a chance. Since taking the time to go back and watch the series from the beginning, I have been kicking myself in the rear end. I haven’t seen every television drama there is (who has that kind of time anyway) but I would put Dexter within the top 10% of T.V. series ever made. If you think about how many shows there are out there, that’s saying a lot. If you narrow it down to just dramas, that’s saying even more and even you go further and only consider cop/forensic/crime dramas, that’s saying just about everything.

Michael C. Hall is tremendous as Dexter, being able to transform from a dull seemingly plain scientist to a delightful, intelligent killer who claims his victims with spot-on precision. Dexter certainly deserves all of the awards that it has received including a 2008 Scream Award for best show. Altogether it has been nominated 109 times for different awards and won 33 of them. Not too shabby at all. Its fourth season finale was Showtime’s highest rated telecast in over a decade when 2.6 million viewers tuned in to watch.

The five seasons are somewhat tweaked to be slightly different from their respective book number counterpart. The differences range from small character details to massive opposite storylines altogether. Despite the changes in plot progressions, both remain high on fans lists within their own industries. Season 6 is hopefully going to mark the return of our scalpel-toting blood spatter vigilante this fall on Showtime.

Only finding small aspects here and there that I would have done differently and one major detail that I wished never happened, I see nothing wrong with this complete and well put-together drama. It not only holds your attention and keeps you guessing but also digs into the mind of a serial killer who is actually not such a bad guy. Trust me, once you begin watching, you won’t be able to stop. It’s like crack but with blood and suspense. I give Dexter “5 air-conditioner trophy hiding places out of 5”.

“Tonight's the night”

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Special Features - Jersey Shore: Gym, Tan, Re-cap of Season 3

Sean Guard on the third season of the popular American reality series Jersey Shore...

Oh, what can we “shoreheads” say about the third and latest season that was the Jersey Shore? A lot I’m sure but I only have so much typing room before people begin to get tired of my rambling. Last season which was filmed in Miami while the state of New Jersey was going through a little thing we call winter, was filled with drama, fights, scandal and even more drama. Well I suppose “fights and scandal” may just be synonyms for the word drama. Sammi and JWoww duked it out first then we were quite entertained and even somewhat surprised by how well Snooki held her own against all around hated roommate Angelina.

This year, “the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island” was replaced by “the blast in a glass” Deena. She made her debut and although she’s a small one she made her presence felt in a very big way by challenging Sammi immediately. I’m sure none of us expected there to be a big blowout on the very first episode. One that resulted in a rematch between Jenni and Sammi. In my opinion, I think this one was a draw. Allowing the first episode to end that way of course left us wanting more and unable to wait until the following week.

The highlights of the third season were headlined, yet again, by the ongoing rather dysfunctional relationship between Sammi and Ronnie. Perhaps MTV should have hired a couple’s counselor to try to mediate the constant fussing, more like war, that these two put the house through. Honestly by the end of the last stint in Miami, I was over their constant bickering and more than ready for them to part ways. But sadly my wish was not granted and I guess it wouldn’t be much of a show without all of their unnecessary drama.

Ultimately, as we all saw, the fighting finally came to a head when they both lost it and went at each other. First, Sammi decided it was a great idea to punch her boyfriend in the face because he was friends with someone whom she despised at the time, Jenni. Ladies and gentleman, we all know that if it were the other way around, our dear Ronald would be facing criminal charges yet again in his young life. After that came the clothes chucking, bedroom destroying chaos that took place during a mega-argument. This was fittingly followed by a distraught Sammi going out and grinding on the first guy she could find.

Finally, finally, after Ron went nutso again after seeing his “girlfriend” partying hard with a stranger, Sammi made the right decision and made her way back home. Sure Ronnie was sad and lonely and dissolved into a crying muscle mess but it was for his own good. “Was” being the keyword. No sooner than Sammi “Sweetheart” departed, she was right back in the shore house and eventually back in Ron’s arms. More drama ensued when we all learned that she was talking to the now infamous Arvin over Blackberry messenger. Ronnie became the adult, after some usual and much expected instigating from Mike, and finally ended their on-again, off-again relationship, for good. Thank. You. Ron.

Then there was other relationship drama between Jenni and her boyfriend, Tom. Call me psychic, but I never thought they looked like they should have been together. Even though Tom seemed like someone that Jenni would go for, he obviously didn’t trust her. Maybe it was her mini-romp with Pauly D in season one or problems back home or perhaps he just couldn’t deal with having a girlfriend as hot as she was. Whatever it was, he was always paranoid. If that was the case, knowing that she was doing this reality series and he wouldn’t be able to handle it, he should have broken it off. Then go find a less-attractive girl whom he wouldn’t have to worry whether she would cheat on him or not. I’m just saying.

I did feel a little bad for JWoww. She does seem like a pretty nice girl who is just looking for love and happiness. It’s just that she meets guys who would rather give her something else. Maybe it’s her fake boobs that cause all of that attention. After dealing with the ordeal of losing her boyfriend, her bed and money, she finally snuggles in with Roger. Now he’s a guy that I think was possibly custom made to fit her criteria. I don’t know her very well but was kind of glad to see her find happiness with him, even if she waited about a nano-second before jumping right back into the dating pool after the last debacle.

What else? Oh yes, Snooki gets arrested! I wasn’t surprised, at all. She was already a kind of out there, “I’m going to do whatever I want” kind of girl then you add alcohol into the equation. I am surprised Seaside police weren’t just following her around waiting for her to f**k up. Spending a night in the slammer seemed to open her eyes, even if it was just a squint, to what she was doing to herself. She transferred her attention from booze back to one of her past obsessions, Vinny.

I don’t know about the rest of you but I think her incessant habit of getting mad at Vinny because he didn’t want to have sex with her is really, well, unfair. If she was the one that was turning him down for sex and he kept coming back then he would be a dog wouldn’t he? But that’s why we have double standards, don’t we? Anyway, Vinny did the right thing by trying to spare her feelings because he didn’t feel the same way but sleeping with her friend may not have been the brightest move. Plus seeing that Taylor isn’t the prettiest girl in the world, he was literally thinking with his penis. I don’t care how large one’s manhood may be; there still isn’t a working brain in there.

Speaking of laying down a sex trail, between Miami and their second visit to Seaside, I began to get a little afraid for the guys of the house. Vinny, Mike “The Situation” and DJ Pauly D are knowingly all out to get a large piece of that pie we like to call…well you know what it’s called. Bottom line, they run through a lot of um, girls, so I at least hope that they were wrapping it up. The specimens from this season were not as up to par as the ones that they found wandering around the clubs in Miami. By now everyone knows who they are, you would think the quality of the girls would rise even higher but sometimes you got to take what you can get I suppose. Even if you are a reality series celebrity.

On that note, I would like to speak on one of my favorite inventions of the third season, “the grenade whistle”. What probably made this creation even funnier was that the girls they were blowing it for had absolutely no idea what it meant. Can you say oblivious? How about the girls who had their brother come to the house at night to pick them up and Pauly D very smoothly suggested he just take them and go. The girl that was going to hook up with him got so upset, it was hilarious. No Italian sausage for her that night.

Yes indeed it was another memorable season which spanned 13 episodes over the course of three months. I wonder if the fourth season, which is reportedly going to be in Florence, Italy, will be any longer. In addition to next season, there will be a spin-off featuring Snooki and Jenni and another with DJ Pauly D. With all of these new shows happening, there hasn’t been any progress in the start of shooting any of them so sadly, we probably won’t have any more Jersey Shore until next year. GTW: Gym, Tan, and Wait for 2012 to arrive so we can become reacquainted with our Jersey Shore alumni once again. Until then, keep fist pumping and make sure to maintain a grenade-free zone. Now you have to excuse me, I have business in the smush room.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Special Features - Take a stroll with The Walking Dead

Sean Guard on the first season of Frank Darabont's acclaimed zombie series The Walking Dead...

Last year’s Halloween frenzy was a pretty decent one in my opinion. I love horror flicks, I mean I love them. There isn’t quite anything like being scared. Suspense building up inside of you, heart pounding so hard it feels like it’ll burst straight through your chest. Trying to anticipate those “jump” moments in a movie so you aren’t the only dummy in the room that’s startled when the killer jumps out of the closet. Didn’t work did it? Yeah I didn’t think so.

2010’s products of Halloween weren’t that bad. My Soul to Take (although it’s worth passing on), Buried and Paranormal Activity 2 all made pretty decent showings at the box office. Case 39 filled the theaters and the final Saw, in 3D nonetheless, came out swinging to make its case for 2010 horror champ. Not knocking any of these films but sometimes quantity over quality is a good thing. Hollywood was making sure there are more than enough of similar products out there to keep all of us satisfied until the Christmas season rolls around. But I was mainly impressed with another product. One that wasn’t included in the cinema Halloween slugfest.

The Walking Dead premiered on Halloween night on AMC of all channels. Not HBO, Showtime or even Starz. AMC which is cable but censored cable that doesn’t show content that would normally be contained on channels like Skine-Max. You know that kind of network that shows classic movies like all of the Halloweens and Friday the 13ths but blocks out all of the good stuff. Like they do every October for their Fearfest horror movie marathon. Still great stuff to watch although it’s edited for network television. Their latest original series, The Walking Dead, does not fall into that category.

Based on a comic book series of the same name created by Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore and Charlie Adlard, the show follows main character Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) who is a deputy sheriff in King County, Georgia. The pilot begins with him and his partner/best friend, Shane Walsh (Jon Bernthal), getting into a gunfight with a couple of fleeing suspects. Grimes is shot during the skirmish and falls into a coma. When he finally awakes, everything as he knew it has been turned upside down. He snaps out of his coma and finds himself still in the hospital but alone, very alone.

After some strenuous investigating while trying to navigate his way around the hospital, he discovers why. He finds people or what he thinks might be people. That is until they try to bite his head off, literally. After escaping some pretty close calls early on, he sets out to learn just what happened during his gunshot induced cat-nap and find his wife and son as well. Along the way he meets other survivors and characters also trying to survive and make some sense of what has happened to their town.

The Walking Dead joins a pretty decent list of shows that have been birthed by AMC. Breaking Bad and Mad Men would probably be at the top of that list. The Walking Dead is just not simply another zombie sub-genre story. It has drama, suspense, emotion, some comedy and the will of the human spirit to survive to go along with the always entertaining slaughtering of the staggering undead. Despite being on network cable, developer Frank Darabont makes sure that the content is nowhere near intended for children.

There is the loss of body parts, the presence of internal organs and my favorite, the way blood splatters everywhere whenever one of the undead is slain. Especially when it finds its way onto the camera. There’s also the occasional curse word slipped in here and there but nothing too excessive. Nothing is safe, not even a horse who falls victim to a horde of zombies early in the series. It isn’t anything like the Saw franchise but it comes close so if you have a weak stomach, you might want to put down the bottle of Pepto Bismol and just don’t watch.

The character-building in the story line is great. You can see how almost every person is affected not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well by what seems to be a sort of apocalypse. No one is completely themselves as they have each lost something from within as a result of this dreadful occurrence. Either they have lost someone close, looking for someone close or just desperately want their life back.

The audience also gets a look in at how Grimes’ family is coping without him. His wife and son, Lori and Carl (Sarah Wayne Collins & Chandler Riggs) have no idea that their husband and father has survived his coma and is now looking for them. They have taken up with a group of survivors trying to stay alive and really not knowing what their next move is with Walsh as their potential leader and protector.

Disappointingly there were only 6 episodes in the opening season but happily the zombie-apocalypse series has been given the green light for a second one. Soon we can get back to watching zombies brutally die. Sorry to sound so happy about seeing the undead meet their maker, again, but it’s very entertaining. This was actually my first time reviewing a television show and assigning one a rating but I think even George A. Romero was curling up on his couch every Sunday night during last November and flipping to AMC. I give The Walking Dead “4.5 ways to make a decent drama about zombies out of 5”.

-“You're surrounded by ‘Walkers’. That's the bad news.”
-“There’s good news?”
-“No”

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Second Opinion - Sucker Punch (2011)

Sucker Punch, 2011.



Directed by Zack Snyder.

Starring Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Oscar Isaac, Carla Gugino, Jon Hamm and Scott Glenn.





SYNOPSIS:



Locked in an institution against her will, a young woman fights for her freedom in a vivid dream world that blurs the boundaries between what is real and what is imaginary.





Bringing us visual delights such as 300 and Watchmen, director Zack Snyder transfers another epic green screen production into theaters. This time around our heroes are not muscled warriors nor do they have super powers. Well not unless you consider the ability to fight giant samurai and even bigger dragons while wearing tiny outfits a super power. Sucker Punch tells the visually-powered tale of a young girl desperately trying to escape an institution that her step-father admits her to against her will.



Emily Browning plays the lead role of Baby Doll. Following the death of her mother, she is placed in an all girl institution by her step dad. While there she meets four other young girls whom she befriends; Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), her sister Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and Amber (Jamie Chung). After struggling at first to deal with being locked away, Baby Doll is able to retreat to a type of alternate reality within her imagination which allows her to cope with her troubles. During these trips into this reality, she comes across a Wise Man (Scott Glenn) who instructs her that she needs to find five things in order to escape her prison.



She decides to include the other girls in on her plan to earn her freedom. They all agree to help her in hopes of also finally being able to put this place behind them forever. Their journey’s into this fantasy world pits them against random virtual enemies. Warriors, Nazi soldiers and fighting robots all attempt to prevent them from reaching their ultimate goal: to set themselves free.



Along with his wife and production partner, Deborah, Zack Snyder really goes all out when it comes to creating this world projected from the imagination of Baby Doll. “Over the top” is probably the best way to describe the visuals on this film. But in this type of film, the all out special effects are expected and much welcomed. Seeing this movie in IMAX probably fulfilled the effect that Snyder, who also helped write the screenplay, was originally going for. It had just the right mixture of super-slow motion and sparkle-dazzle to make it impressive.



It’s quite obvious that the majority of the effort put into this project went into the special effects because no one will win any acting awards here. Especially not Browning even in the lead role. She’s nice to look at in her school girl outfit battling mythical foes but she spares us of displaying any kind of actual acting talent. The rest of the cast pretty much follows suit. Only Carla Gugino who plays Madam Gorski really used any skill by throwing on a Russian accent for her character.



The costumes were well placed for a PG-13 rating, having sex appeal but being very tastefully done. Everyone was wearing some obvious pretty heavy make-up throughout the film, even Browning’s character before she had even entered the institution. Another plus for the movie, however, was the music used to fuel the fantasy world and fight scenes. Hearing, no not hearing, but feeling the score pound through the speakers in IMAX surround sound was a pleasure. Decent story with a couple of unexpected turns here and there, Snyder put in some work writing the story. But I did feel like the ending was kind of rushed.



The combat and gun fights alongside the special effects were the best spectacle of the film, if you weren’t able to already guess that from all of the trailers. Although we’ve no doubt seen bullets fly in slow motion, it was still good to see in this one. That and witnessing swords slowly slice their way through opposing enemy robots were all pretty well done. Chock up one more fantasy thrill ride for Mr. Snyder. I give Sucker Punch “3.5 much needed escapes into a violent fantasy world in order to deal with your problems out of 5”. Try it some time, it might even help you too.



“If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.”

Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler



Movie Review Archive

Special Features - True Blood: Try a sip, you might like it

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the popular US vampire series True Blood...

Unless you happen to be dead yourself, you should know about the undead craze that is blanketing our planet. By undead I by no means am speaking of anything that slid out of the creative mind of one George A. Romero. I am, however, referring to a certain race of supernatural beings that are called vampires. Yes, the other undead. They are immortal, super-strong, very fast, drink blood, have skin that literally pales in comparison to a humans, and can apparently fly in some story variations.

Perhaps my most fondest memories of the fanged blood-lusters are from one of my most coveted television series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I mean yeah, I initially watched it because of the high degree of hotness that was Sarah Michelle Gellar. I thought she was extremely “purty”. But the drama powered storylines as well as the comic relief and surprising relation to real life teenage angst despite the fictitious characters forced me to continue coming back for more. I then gravitated on over to Angel, its spin-off, when it finally debuted. Joss Whedon happens to be something of a genius. Since those very classic good times, different ideas and variations of vampires have been slung upon us to hopefully accept and eventually love.

After somewhat ignoring a small plea from a friend to use my ever so valuable time to peruse the third season of a particular show titled True Blood, I accidentally found myself watching it along with my aunt. I also found myself incorrect in thinking that it was only for the younger demographic. I’m sure my aunt won’t appreciate being called old so I will take time to say that I am not doing that. But I was a little shocked that she watched the show, consistently. I must have caught the last 20 minutes of an episode towards the end of the season and saw nothing but blood, sex, guts, male-on-male sex, and then more blood. I thought to myself, “there’s a storyline somewhere in here?”

After giving in and watching the first season, I discovered that the answer to my question was a definitive “yes”. The series created by Alan Ball is based upon a series of novels authored by Charlaine Harris. Entitled The Southern Vampire Mysteries or The Sookie Stackhouse Chronicles, the series currently has a total of 10 books with three more slated for the future. The show, which airs on HBO and rightfully so with the amount of blood and “nudy-parts”, has finished its third season as of last summer and has been confirmed to return for a fourth during this years’ hot month period.

Anna Paquin plays our main character of Ms. Sookie Stackhouse. You can tell she’s a southern raised lady who has absolutely no problem about sharing what’s on her mind. This makes her character quite annoying at times but she’s a determined female that needs to be heard. She’s a hottie, no doubt about that, but she’s also a virgin. Patiently waiting for that special, and deserving, guy who earns the right to nestle within that untouched haven she keeps to herself.

This of course all changes when she meets Bill Compton, an old vampire also from the south who has made his way to the fictional town of Bon Temps, LA to settle down. He takes up residence in a house that belonged to his family while he was still human. When Sookie’s eyes fall upon Bill, the sense of instant attraction is there and they soon find themselves carrying on a relationship. Sookie’s best friend, Tara, is one of the few African-American characters on the show who, like Sookie, loves to say what’s on her mind. Only her dialogue is usually laced with a cuss word or thirty. She doesn’t trust any men and has a crippling relationship with her mother which gives the audience the sense that she’s about to severely break at any second.

Sookie has a brother, Jason, who is the town playboy. On the prowl for a different girl almost every night, he has little trouble finding himself in a lot of it. Tara’s cousin Lafayette makes up the flamboyant population of homosexuals within the town. He sells drugs and works as a cook at a restaurant/bar called Merlotte’s owned by one Sam Merlotte. A nice guy but whom you can tell has some secrets, he has a pretty deep crush on Sookie who also works at his restaurant as a waitress. The rest of the character roster is rounded out by town citizens, disrespected police officers, more vampires and tons of other supernatural creatures who seem to pop into the story when you least expect it.

True Blood’s story is fueled by a team of writers who concentrate the screenplay around the written novels. So each season is based upon a certain book within the series of novels. I was amazed at the popularity that this show grew upon before I actually watched any specific episodes. Also prior to embarking on my True Blood journey I was told by some fans of the show that it progressively becomes a little worse as the seasons go by. Now that I am all caught up and at the level that everyone else is, I would have to say that I agree.

Season one slowly begins with the all too familiar concept of vampire loves girl. But it builds upon that with the introduction of other complex characters and how they all interact with each other. Hostility, gripes, sex, love, passion, concern for each other’s well-being and mutual sex buddy relationships are formed. All of this revolves around the main plotline in that vampires have decided to make themselves known to the world and try to convince humans that all they want are equal rights. Trying to help their plight is Japanese-created synthetic blood bottled as a drink and dubbed with the name Tru Blood. Wait, I’ve heard that name before somewhere.

Of course there are some who love them, want to be them and then some who want to see all of them burned in one huge vampire bon-fire. Throw into the mix a series of mysterious murders and the story takes off running. When one episode ends, you immediately want to watch the next one to find out what happens. Engaging and entertaining, season one was definitely one of the better first season debuts for a television show that I can remember.

Season two; oh what can I say about this wild and very much over the top second season. It’s far-fetched, weird, sometimes frustrating and filled with just about every mortal sin you could possibly think of. One of those sins, in the form of super orgy’s, are all over this second helping. The gang encounters a supernatural creature in the form of a woman, Maryann (Michelle Forbes), who turns the town upside down by allowing them to completely indulge in their every forbidden desire. Then they wake up the next day and can’t remember a thing. It’s a crazy one that’s for sure, I found myself asking the question of “what the f***?” countless times but…wasn’t able to turn away. Nor did I find a suitable reason to stop watching all together, so I pressed onward.

Enter season three, the most recent having aired last summer and not as insane as the second one. Now the introduction of werewolves comes into play. I couldn’t prevent myself from making the gut-obvious realization here. Vampires…werewolves, where, oh where have I seen this before? I would be declaring that you are not smart enough to have any idea what I may be talking about. So I won’t even mention what quartet of books and movies this addition of people who could change into wolves automatically compared this show to. I thought this was going to do it for me, I would surely be done. But yet again, I wasn’t. I finished the entire season and yes, still not as good as the first but made a little more sense than the second, I found it interesting.

Now I haven’t made up my mind if I am actually looking forward to the fourth season or not but I will definitely check it out to see if it too can continue to grab my attention and keep it. But I have made a conscious decision to at least come back to get another look at dear Tara; very attractive but so much more than just eye-candy. The end of the third season left many characters acting out of the norm and set-up some decent foreshadowing for the next installment. Hopefully this go-round will live up to the hype and anticipation of all hardcore True Blood fans everywhere. I give The Blood that is True (as I call it) an overall “3 sets of fang marks left behind out of 5”. Those are usually left in the neck unless of course you prefer the succulent femoral artery, oooh oh so tasty.

“Pam: To Arlene's children: You make me so happy I never had any of you.” “Eric Northman: No, c'mon Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. 'Teacup humans'.”

What are your opinions of the heralded True Blood series? Favorite character? Best Season? True fans unite and make your voices heard. Now go forth and Do Bad Things.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Movie Review - Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

Battle: Los Angeles, 2011.



Directed by Jonathan Liebesman.

Starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan, Ramon Rodriguez, Cory Hardrict, Michael Peña, Ne-Yo, Nzinga Blake and Will Rothhaar.





SYNOPSIS:



Los Angeles becomes a battleground as a platoon of U.S. Marines make a desperate last stand against invading extra-terrestrial forces.





Independence Day, Cloverfield, The Day the Earth Stood Still, District 9, War of the Worlds; yes it would seem that we have a certain curiosity for life that is otherworldly. Heck even flicks like Predator, Men in Black and Superman are all alien related. From UFOs to flying saucers to Martian Manhunters, we would all love to know if there is other life out there. Furthermore, we would love to know if it’s friendly. Until we receive some hardcore evidence of both, we have our books, television shows, independent YouTube video directors and by far, we have our movies. The latest and perhaps, yes, in my opinion one of the greatest to hit movie houses and midnight releases filled with patrons who apparently have no jobs to go to the next day is Battle: Los Angeles.



Aaron “Two-Face” Eckhart plays our main hero, Staff Sergeant Michael Nantz of the US Marine Corp. On the very verge of retirement, he is ordered to fall in with a group of young Marines sent to retrieve a small cluster of civilians who have been trapped by the unexpected attack of extra-terrestrials. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking to himself, “FML” when he got the word he was going back into combat. What looks to be his last “Hoo-rah” takes place in, shocker, L.A. Looks like Kobe and the Lake show won’t be getting another chance to go for a title. Before you begin to think the aliens are Celtic fans, they have also invaded other major countries around the world. All of these places falling heavily and taking major losses at the hands, or whatever they use as hands, of these invaders.



The Marine platoon is led by 2nd Lieutenant William Martinez (Ramon Rodriguez), first in his class out of officer candidate school and without any real field experience. He tries his best but it can be seen that he wants to look to Nantz for guidance, who had 20 years of dedicated service but also lost men in his last skirmish with hostiles. The rest of his platoon, Corporal Kevin Harris (Ne-Yo), Air Force Technical Sergeant Elena Santos (Michelle Rodriguez), who got picked up along the way and Corporal Jason Lockett (Cory Hardict), whose brother was among the men Nantz lost, and other Marines all fall in behind their two higher-ranking members ready to fight while trying to grasp the gravity of the situation. To make matters worse, they are all on a time crunch during their rescue mission; they have 2 hours to complete their objective before the Air Force deploys bombs that will wipe out the city of angels.



The cast playing the Marine troop whom we get to follow through the deserted streets of L.A. went through 3 weeks of boot camp training to prepare for their roles. In my opinion, it did them good. Very believable as a squad of tightly knit Marines, the cast move, communicate, strategize and take orders like in any other war/military movie. The mood and tone of the film also generates a sense of pride and dedication as they go about their unpredictable mission.



With this certain “unique” aspect brought into an invasion/sci-fi film, it somewhat sets itself apart from other films with similar plotlines. Instead of watching an alien movie with Earth’s occupants trying to defend it, it was like watching a war movie with aliens in it. The camera and film editing was pieced together in an in-your-face, part of the battle perspective as caught in most films containing military battles. Think movies like Saving Private Ryan, Tears of the Sun or The Kingdom. Director Jonathan Liebesman seemed to be going for a documentary type of feel with his camera direction and captured it at the right spots with an easy-to-be sucked-in screenplay written by Chris Bertolini.



The aliens themselves were a little different than those contained in other sci-fi films. The audience doesn’t get a direct view of them at first, no doubt to build up some suspense, but it works. Their attack units seemed very similar to that our Marine platoon sent in to do battle with them. They moved, took cover, backed each other up and fought just like our military does. They performed reconnaissance and arrived with different factions to perform their very effective attack on the cities of Earth. As a matter of fact, it would seem that the only thing different about them was that they weren’t human.



With many of the aliens and their vehicles created with CGI, the debate over superb special effects comes up. I feel the effects weren’t of the quality as say maybe ID4 but I also feel that they really didn’t have to be. The main point of this film was the way the main characters banded together and tried to combat their enemies. The overall appearance of the alien ships and arsenal were enough for my approval. It didn't rely on the proverbial green screen crutch to make it or break it. The amount of action contained in this film was the real star.



Originally brought to the attention of filmmakers, Greg and his brother Colin Strause, for them to input their special effect skills, by Sony, this film did just great without them. Their own flop Skyline which has a “coincidentally” very comparable plot, story as well as location would hit the canvas hard in the first round if these films were released on the same weekend.



I thoroughly enjoyed this film with everything from action to drama to action to comedy to the will of survival and back to action again. With its diverseness, it attracts sci-fi fans, alien fans and war movie fans alike. I may have to rethink my decision of attending midnight releases from now on however. It seems all of the rather rambunctious moviegoers come out at that time; people tossing (more like shooting) popcorn into each other’s mouths pre-movie, talking during the previews, allowing a balloon to float up on the screen towards the end of the film and a very hearty “F**k You aliens!” during the credits all found their way into my movie-going experience. Can’t wait to one day have my own private theater.



But all of that did not take away from a great film. I give Battle: Los Angeles “4.5 inspirational looks at our fighting military or one very long advertisement for the Marine Corp, however you choose to look at it out of 5”.



-“Who knows how to hot-wire a bus?”

-“Stavrou does Sir, he’s from New Jersey”

Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler



Movie Review Archive

Movie Review - I Am Number Four (2011)

I Am Number Four, 2011.



Directed by D.J. Caruso.

Starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Teresa Palmer, Dianna Agron, Kevin Durand, Callan McAuliffe and Jake Abel.





SYNOPSIS:



An extraordinary young man masks his true identity, passing himself off as a typical student to elude a deadly enemy intent on his destruction. Three like him have already been killed... he is Number Four.





Hollywood’s infatuation with beings from another world continues to populate theaters with films about aliens and invasions and alien invasions. Before we get a chance to feast our eyes on the much anticipated Battle: Los Angeles, we get to past the time with the film adaptation of the teen fiction novel, I Am Number Four. Not so much as a straight out invasion story right off the bat but a “good-guy alien running for his life” story. A slight change from always having the protagonist of the story be the human race which is usually fighting a losing battle.



Number Four/John Smith (Alex Pettyfer) looks like a normal teenager who has a pretty easy time getting blondes in bikinis to invite him for night-time rendezvous’ in the ocean. His secret is soon out when one of his kind, Number Three, is found and murdered by a group called the Mogadorians. That secret being that he is from another planet. Yes, an alien with special powers that he hasn’t quite come to master full control over just yet. Sound familiar? No? Ok, I’ll keep going. John is one of nine toddlers who were sent to Earth along with their protectors for their safety. Three are now dead, leaving six remaining. His guardian, Henri (Timothy Olyphant), also from the planet of Lorien is his sole adult influence and protector makes the decision it’s time to pack up and leave, again, from their home of Florida after a small mishap with that same blonde in the bikini exposes his true identity. Still not familiar? Ok, continuing on.



They wind up in Ohio. Paradise, Ohio to be exact. They attempt, well, Henri attempts to maintain a low profile but of course John can’t stand being cooped up in the house all the time. Under warnings from his guardian, he sets off to school in an attempt to lead a normal life. Not too long into his new High School career, he meets three new people in his life. Sam (Callan McAuliffe) is your somewhat above typical school geek, Sarah (Dianna Agron) who immediately presents the audience with the fact that she is going to be the love interest in this story and her bully ex-boyfriend, Mark (Jake Abel). He is the school quarterback who desperately wants his girl back which doesn’t bode so well for “John” after she begins to take a liking to him.



The rest of the movie has John, Henri and Sam being chased by the Mogadorians, an alien race who dress like they are all part of the Neo fan club and sport some pretty heavy artillery & “pets” as they search for the remaining six numbers. There is also Number 6 (Teresa Palmer), another alien who is looking to join forces with John in an attempt to stop the Mogadorians and ensure the survival of what’s left of their race.



By now you have got to know what’s familiar about this plot line that was originally written by authors Jobie Hughes and James Frey. It’s pretty much like every other superhero origin tale out there. Superman comes to mind first. To be a little more specific, Smallville also pops in there. Not saying their idea wasn’t completely original, the powers that these beings have are different. Telekinesis, invisibility but the usuals such as speed, strength, and superb fighting abilities are all included. I Am Number Four is actually the first of six proposed books that will make up the series. Seems like J. K. Rowling’s success is giving everyone ideas. But to their credit, the book has spent some considerable time atop the children’s chapter of The New York Times Best Seller list. So you know what that means, more movies to come!



Producers Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay nabbed the movie rights to the book rather early and let D.J. Caruso, who brought us the thriller Disturbia, direct it. I’m rather surprised that a film was released already even before the second novel was. But then again, adapting from books and comics seems to be a rather popular means of production today in the world of film.



Nothing to get excited about here while discussing the acting. The special effects are where this film shines. It was actually this aspect about the film that made me change my mind about going to see it in the first place. We all know it’s about aliens, aliens who have superpowers and it’s based on a fiction novel. So making the unbelievable stunts and “they probably used a wire” sequences look believable was not an issue. These characters can do things that humans can’t. So watching John stop his darling Sarah from falling off of a roof in mid-air and then catching her before she hit the ground wasn’t going over the top. But it was done in very good quality.



My bones to pick with the film was, although it is a teen-based story, the emphasis on the whole trying to fit in and falling in love thing was dragged way too far out. We’ve already been down that road with every other science-fiction/superhero piece of paper with words on it. Get to the part where they start doing the hard-to-believe stuff that I was speaking about. But alas, this film took a good while to get to that piece of the story. Almost the entire two hours to be exact.



Having said all of that, the CGI was well created, the action was decent and I suspect the school board has a lot of funding because the High School in this movie gets royally trashed. I personally wanted more, especially after the $15 price tag for IMAX but maybe the next five sequels will be better. I give I Am Number Four “3 reasons to reconsider the truth being out there out of 5”.



“It’s hard to calm down when your hands light up like road flares”

I Am Number For is released in UK cinemas tomorrow.



Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler



Movie Review Archive

Special Features - How about... dinner and a movie?

Sean Guard discusses the all-important question for a perfect first date... to movie or not to movie?

Going on a date? More specifically a first date? What should you do? Where should you take her? Food is always a good idea. Feeding your date has got to be the number 1 thing to gain some kind of positive cool points with her. With her stomach full, she just might forget the fact that you don’t drive a Mercedes. Oh, and to those guys reading who actually own a Mercedes, news flash: she’s only paying attention to you for your car. Ladies, where would you like to be taken on a date? What would you like to do? What do you like eat? All great questions. Yes, fantastic questions. But with plenty of different answers.

Unfortunately for those of us on an actual budget, those different answers can mean many different price ranges for that evening. Yes Nicki Minaj, I look at the price tag. But although the cost of a date may be important on a certain level, a more important aspect is the actual date. What to do while you spend time trying to get to know someone? Being a gi-normous lover of film, quite frankly I can probably go to the theater every day if I could (again, my budget does not permit this, movie prices are not going down any time soon). Whereas whomever I deem lucky enough to allow to hang out with me for an evening may not embrace my same desire. One that lets me sit in a dark theater and either thoroughly enjoy or ridicule a film that Hollywood or an independent filmmaker has placed on the screen in front of me. So what to do?

I referred to one reason of rejecting the idea of taking a date to the movies the first time you go out. That reason being that you are trying to get to know more about this person. Thus, you have to talk to them. Yeah something I’m not quite big on but learning things about someone new is always fun, if they don’t turn out to be a psycho, and vice versa. Two people can’t do that in a theater with a movie running. I for one who am a self-acclaimed movie connoisseur especially don’t like exchanging parts of a conversation during a film. Perhaps if you’re at home on the couch and it’s just you, her or some friends. That’s acceptable, you can complain or praise whatever it is that you may be watching in the privacy of your home. Fellow high-paying movie patrons accompanying you in the cinema may not appreciate the fact that you chose their “movie-time” to find out what your date’s favorite color is. You might receive a nice, or not so nice, visit from those guys with the flashlights.

So perhaps you do the movie thing first and then take her to dinner. That way you can compare notes about the film over your meal. Fantastic idea, but then what do you after you eat? You could take a walk… or a drive… or a walk and then a drive. Maybe just take her back home because unless you are super debonair like myself, she probably won’t want to go back to your place. Hey, you could try telling her that you guys could just… watch a movie. No? Oh well, maybe next time.

Let’s say the two of you do go to that movie on the first date. What kind of movie should it be? Should you be the gentleman and let her choose? Depending on the female, you might find yourself sitting through something that either has Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattison or both in it. Think you’re date is much too old to want to go see something like that? You might be in for quite a surprise. I’ve had grown women come up to me feeling guilty about their fantasizing about those two. Bright side is the constant viewing of half naked young boys might get her pretty excited then you get to skip dinner altogether and instead find yourself eating the next morning, in bed.

Could it be a comedy? Sure, but then again that depends on the females taste in comedy. I for one hold high the sub-genre of “stupid comedy” ala Jim Carrey, Seth Rogen, Craig Robinson kinds of flicks. Those types of films may be beneath her maturity level. Perhaps it could the other way around. Maybe you go see a thriller/suspense or a mystery. Then you really might have something to discuss afterwards. Of course there is the ever classic scary movie. Though many females of this modern age rather covet horror films and sadly won’t be jumping into your lap every time the killer bursts through a door.

So to movie or not to movie? I say feel your impending date partner out and let the answer come to you or sometimes even her. It is 2011. There’s nothing wrong with letting the woman think of something to do. Now having her pay for this date, that’s a much touchier subject that I will choose not to go for right now. Speaking of touching, another benefit of taking her to the movies is using it as an excuse to cuddle. I know, I know, all guys aren’t very keen on cuddling but it isn’t really that bad. Especially if you two are cuddle compatible.

Any and all comments, concerns, suggestions and especially opinions are welcome to this very important topic of discussion. Sure there’s been an earthquake in Haiti, an oil spill in the Gulf, a bomb threat in New York and all sorts of awful things that have happened this past year. But that doesn’t mean we can’t speak about other things that don’t involve the serious injury of people. Well hopefully it doesn’t; you might wind up making the wrong choice and have your date stab you with her fork. Happy first-dating!

P.S. If you do go to the cinema, especially during the summer, bring a sweater…for her. Theaters have no regard for human limitations to the arctic cold. You’ll definitely earn cool points. In the end, that’s what it’s all about.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler