Don't Cheat...Teach!!!

One of the biggest reasons for cheating is one of the people in a relationship being unsatisfied. They continue being with the person based on love and care, but sexually they are not being pleased. This is a terrible reason to cheat! I don't think there is any 'good' reason to cheat, but this is thr WORST! If you are that in love that you would stay committed and not be satisfied...

DON'T CHEAT..........TEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is the easiest solution to your problem. In a relationship there should be a certain level of comfort. You should be able to express your feelings to your significant other. Although the previous statement is true, it may be hard to tell your 'boo' that they are bad in bed. I have a way to fix that too...

If this is a situation you are currently in...listen up! The next time you are about to get it on with your mate, ask them to play a game of Simon Says...or whatever your name is. Instruct them to do exactly what you want, but only when you say '_____ says'. This way they won't feel like they've done something wrong, they'll think you're just being kinky...but at the same time you are literally teaching them exactly what you like.

Another way to approach it is positive reinforcement. The sex can't be ALL bad, so when they do something you like...verbalize it. This will encourage them to do that more often. There are several ways to go about it, just make it fun and subtle.

The worst way to handle this is to blatantly tell your mate you don't like the sex. This may cause them to draw away or become self-conscious.

It pains me to hear anyone say they're cheating because they don't get what they want at home. Nine times out of ten, the person you're cheating on for this reason is who you actually want to be with, and the person you're cheating with is just filling a void.

If you're going to complain about something, do your part to fix it. It can be fixed...nothing is impossible. When people are in love they enjoy pleasing each other, so why wouldn't they work on it for you??

To sit there and fake orgasms and make them think they are putting it down is the reason they haven't changed their style up in you. Why would they fix something that doesn't appear broken? You're the one lying to them...so finally tell the truth...but in a fun way!

Cheating is not the way to go. It does far more damage than actually sitting there and telling them the sex is bad.

If you love the person enough to stay, love them enough to make an effort to fix the issue.

Sharing Is Caring...Right??

i had the idea for a WHOOOOLE different blog in mind...

but i have a friend in need of SERIOUS words of advice/encouragement.


Jane Doe: Ok, i was dating this dude on and off for about a year. Shit, i cant even say on and off because after while, we just developed one of those "relationship without the title" type of things. A "situationship" for lack of a better word. We had fallen in love (which i now know was only going on in my half of the relationship), but yeah, we fell in love and things were...ok. There was always some drama going on or some issue with another females, or him thinking i was fucking with another dude. After our official break up, we both "did us" to a certain extent. We still always found our way back to each other though. Somehow, we always found our way back.So anyways, the dude was a singer and trying to get a deal and wanted to find a female singer to do a song with. I, being the helpful person i am, knew how much his music meant to him and suggested my best friend since the sixth grade. She has always loved singing and wanted to get into the business herself...so my first logical thought, was to hook them up. Little did i kno that some people take the term "hook up" waaay too far. So, i recently find out that they messed around the day they were scheduled to work on the song. Crazy thing is, there was a moment when i couldn't get in touch with either party and both phones werent being answered. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach & in my heart, that something was going on. When i bought it up, BOTH parties tried to make me feel bad with a whole bunch of "what kinda person do you think i am?" and even some "how could you even say that? im hurt you would think of me in that way".

CRAZY RIGHT??? So I find this out and i'm just at a loss for words. Yes, i have been with other people since the break up but...........MY BEST FRIEND??????? I've done some fooooooooul things to people but this takes the cake over anything I've done, or even thought about doing. Then, after all this, something in my mind (or maybe that was my heart) stops and says "i still want to be with him". I know, I know ladies...you are ashamed of me already and trust, i was just as ashamed of myself. I do not know what made that thought come about but my mind quickly stepped in (so yeah, that must have been my heart before) because my mind quickly stepped in and said "BITCH IS YOU CRAZY???" I guess I just want to know if anyone has been int his situation before. What did you do? How did you feel? How would you have handled it if it was you? What do you think of him? Of her?

Yeah...thats her issue. Soooo...yeah. Any feedback?

_Ms Simpson_

Cheating...Part 2 (Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater??)

This stems from my last blog about cheating (hence the part 2 lol)

Now that eveyrone has declared their stand on what cheating is...I'm going to take a little spin on it...I want to make a blind assumption, go out on a limb, and say that almost everyone has cheated before in some form. Whether it was emotional, physical, or even mental, everyone has done some form of cheating.

Are you to be considered a cheater forever? Have you changed? Will it stay that way? If you've never cheated...(congrats)...and do you feel like a cheater can be reformed???

I'm going to be completely honest, i've only been faithful in one relationship in my entire life. I either wasn't satisfied with how i was being treated, wasn't satisfied sexually, or just didn't care! My last relationship though, is when i remained faithful, even after being cheated on. That's why it stands out so much to me.

After having been a faithful cheater...(crazy way to word that right?)...but yes, after being a faithful cheather, i found someone who i wanted to solely be with emotionally, physically, mentally and sexually.Most females in my position would have either left or cheated...but i did neither. Something inside me wanted to keep my word to myself and to him. Do i feel like since i was cheated on anyway that it was in vain? HELL NO! I know now that the saying is SO far from being true.I was once a cheater and for that relationship, i made a major change.

If i cheat in a relationship in the future...will that count as me "always" being a cheater? I dont know & wont get to find out either...My philosophy now is to either keep it real and say I'm not satisfied and want to see other people or just leave the relationship. either way i would not be cheating.

now that i've been completely faithful to someone, it feels GOOD to say/know that i can do it. plus, the feeling of knowing that i haven't shared myself with anyone and any way...i never want that feeling taken from me again. It felt great to not have to lie. Even if my truth wasnt accepted by him didnt matter, bc i had no feelings of guilt.

So do i think that if you've cheated that you'll always be that way? NOPE. unless you never find that one person that gets into your heart deep enough to make you WANT to be faithful. It will only happen if you want it to. I wanted to be able to tell the man i was with that he's the only man ive been with since we got together...and i was finally able to.

So what do you think? Am i still a cheater? Know any reformed cheaters? Are you a reformed cheater? How did you come about changing? If you still cheat...why? And do you think you could be faithful?WILL A CHEATER ALWAYS CHEAT????

Cheating...Part 1 (yes, there have to be parts for this)

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING???

I have plenty of friends who have been cheated on...and plenty more who have cheated. some of them feel like the things they did, did not constitute cheating...while others knew they were dead wrong for what they had done.
...i even have met a TON of guys who feel like they didnt cheat bc they had an arguement with their woman/man and didnt speak for less than a day, so they felt it was ok to do them...and then said they didnt cheat because them and their mate werent together for those few hours (still havent gotten a grasp on that one...bc if we havent mutually decided that we arent together, an arguement does NOT justify cheating)

then that poses the question of what exactly cheating is. when is it considered cheating? what things constitute a cheater?

most people have this odd thought in their head that cheating is ONLY when you actually have sexual intercourse with another person.
NO NO NO NO NO!!! You've GOT to be kidding me!

Cheating can relate to sex (oral, anal, vaginal), kissing, sexual touching, spending time...all of that. yes, giving someone else your intimate time...is cheating. i personally would be more upset if i found out my significant other was spending time with another woman, rather than just fucking her. spending time means your heart is cheating on me...fucking means its just your dick thats cheating...and in a relationship...your heart would mean way more to me.

i think men and women cheat differently honestly. men usually always go for the sex...for whatever reason. as women will go for the time (usually time and attention they arent getting in their own relationship).

To me, they are both wrong but do other people consider spending time with someone else and gaining an intimate interest in someone else cheating?? would you be more upset if you found out that your mate was having sex with someone else? or if they were spending time with and getting to know someone else on the level that they know you??

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU PERSONALLY CONSIDER CHEATING???