Me, myself, and I

Alice Gaines here. Dawn told me I could talk about whatever I wanted, so I thought I'd discuss my favorite subjects - me, myself, and I. Better yet, let's have them introduce themselves.

Myself: Good morning, or afternoon, depending on where you are.

Me: Aren't you getting all cute and geographical?

I: Starting out with the attitude already, eh?

Me: I see you're your usual snooty self.

Myself: Stop it, you two.

I: She started it.

Me: Mom liked you best.

Myself: No Smothers Brothers! You're dating us. Settle down. We're supposed to be talking about our two latest releases. I, why don't you go first?

Me: Yawn.

Myself: (Glares at both of them.)

I: Thank you. (Looks down her nose at Me.) My story is To Touch a Woman. It's in the series Three Kinds of Wicked from Red Sage Publishing.

My hero and heroine, Edward and Margaret Sinclair, are deeply in love with each other, but their marriage is in serious trouble. As good Victorians, neither of them learned anything about the sex act, and Edward's clumsiness causes Margaret pain every time they make love. She has no idea how to fix the problem, and her reassurances that she loves him, anyway, only make matters worse.

Me: Is that supposed to be exciting? Two rich English people who don't know their way around a bedroom?

I: Let me finish. Ahem, as I was saying...Edward and Margaret meet a mysterious stranger named Treveylan. His touch seems to have some calming effect on her. After dinner at an inn, when Margaret's left the two men to go to bed, Edward learns that Trey, as he insists on being called, is quite knowledgeable in the ways of the flesh. Desperate to do whatever he has to in order to save his marriage, he does the unthinkable...he asks Trey to make love with Margaret and allow him to watch. That way, she'll enjoy sex for once, and he'll learn how to touch his woman.

Me: Oh, it's a menage.

I: Yes, genius, it's a menage. And now, if you'll let me finish...The three stay together until Edward and Margaret have become experts at giving each other pleasure, and Trey leaves as mysteriously as he arrived.

Myself: That sounds like a very nice story.

I: Thanks. It's available at http://www.eredsage.com/.

Myself: Okay, Me, tell us about your story.

Me: My next release will be at Changeling Press. It's called Dragon Shift.

I: Dragon? Shift?

Me: Yeah, Sherlock. You figured it out. My hero and heroine are dragon shapeshifters.

I: There's no such creature.

Me: How do you know? Besides, it's a story. You should really just relax.

Myself: Mystery Science Theatre? You're dating us again.

Me: The dragon princess, Ilona, was kidnapped by demon shapeshifters as a small child.

I: (raises eyebrow) Demons, too?

Myself: Shhhhh.

Me: Now, she's mating age, and her mate - the dragon crown prince Drake - has to find her before one of the demons can seduce her and ruin her with his evil. Ilona doesn't understand why she keeps having uncontrollable sexual urges. She's been saving herself for the dragon she dreams of every night, but then, mischief shows up in the form of a sexy biker named Zimm. Her body craves Zimm, but her heart belongs in a beautiful, green valley with her dragon lover.

A stranger appears, claiming to be her dragon. She can't believe him, until he takes her on their mating flight. Then, they only need to break free from the demons who want to hold her to have their happily ever after.

I: That does sound exciting. And sexy.

Me: Thank you. It'll be on sale on March 5 at http://www.changelingpress.com/

Myself: There, now, wasn't that better?

I: I suppose so.

Me: Yeah, I guess.

Myself: On behalf of all of us, we'd like to thank you for spending a few moments with Me, myself, and I

Alice Gaines writes hot romances for Red Sage Publishing, Changeling Press, Spice Briefs, and soon Carina Press. You can write to her at authoralicegaines@yahoo.com or visit her website at http://www.authoralicegaines.com/

She does argue with herself from time to time and sometimes refers to herself in the third person, apparently.