RIVERS RUN READ HERRING
Z: Red herrings are cool. (Zi grabs his didgeridoo and creates a plaintive moan via it)
A: You hate fish. (Pointing to the instrument and bemoans) Calling moose? (Her criticism stops his solo) What's new?
Z: Get this. A friend of mine, you know Russell, he forgot his wife, Sissy's, anniversary.
A: Why isn't it his or their anniversary?
Z: Right... you ask a question of which you know the answer. Back to the story. She was P.O.-ed.
A: Should have been. (Nods in that way of the self-righteous who just know they are right)
Z: Have you ever heard of extenuating circumstances? He claims he had a brain cramp. Guys understand that. But... she in a fit of righteous indignation told him that he better have something with a huge bow on it in the driveway the next morning. We know Russell, he's a tad dense, he replied, "Huh!?" She added as a qualifier, "Something that can go 0 to 200 in less than six seconds." Well, without pointing out her faux pas because cars are rated 0 to 60 she made her point.
A: What happened? (She put the last of the seven pencils she had just sharpened into It's Not Easy Being A Princess! cup)
Z: The next morn she was told to go to the drive and she saw the big red bow on a new... bathroom scale.
A: (Looks horrified) How is poor, poor Sissy?
Z: You girls stick together like one big street gang. What are your gang colors? Puce. Your greeting, bounce in place to the sound of Pooh-pooh People. Your banner on the back of your Prada sweats, 'Men bite... women harder'. (He checks out his new model car, a 1993 BMW 325i red convertible) Russell thought he was doing the right thing. Misguided. Thinking with his brother Walt's brain. Sissy is now using the Cash for Clunkers program to get a new Ford.
A: Red...
Z: Don't know. (Interrupting her)
A: Red herring? You cut me off. Your story used a red herring, didn't it?
Z: I like them as plot devices. In LOVE LETTERS we used many.
A: As a warning to future readers they are subtle.
Z: And red if read. Hint-hint!
A: What's that? (She pointed to something he was reading)
Z: Listen to this poem. (He removed his glasses from his mouth and put them on)
A: You wrote a poem?
Z: No, but you'll like it. (Doing the brush the fly away hand motion before he began, one might liken it to other Ed Norton's antics)
A: Listeeennning. (As if encouraging him to begin talking)
Z: (Clears his throat dramatically)
Never more will the wind
Cherish you again
Never more will the rain.
Never more
Shall we find you bright
In the snow and wind.
The snow is melted,
The snow is gone,
And you are flown:
Like a bird out of one hand,
Like a light out of our heart,
You are gone.
– Hilda Doolittle
A: (Tears well up, she blinks, sniffles) That is so sad, the poet must have lost someone very precious. You can tell it comes from the heart. The never more ... never more just gets to me... It is the ultimate feeling of loss, of change, of life moving forward yet that singular hole will remain empty. That's it... It must have to do with empty nest emotions. Your children leave... gone... they are gone... She said it, like a bird out of one hand... gone. Oh, what utter torment, what utter hurt. It is all too much. I think that this might end up being one of my most favorite poems of all time.
Z: Really? (He grabs his didgeridoo and recreates the moose call)
A: Oh yes... It is as if it reflects the feelings of my very own heart when it comes to losing that which one cherishes the most.
Z: Would you like to know the title?
A: Oh, yes, yes... very much so.
Z: (Again the clearing of his throat, a huge dramatic pause) HYMEN.. this was her homage to the hymen. So the lesson can be found in the subtext of the meaning of the words. I adore Red Herrings.
We'd love to hear from anyone interested in what we do. Just emails us at angelicahartandzi@yahoo.com and leaves an s-mail address, and we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.
Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS
SNAKE DANCE
CHASING YESTERDAY
Books can be purchased at: www.champagnebooks.com
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